Subcon Junkyard
by Roboman
Summary: During a fierce battle over her soul, Hat Kid encounters a man in a coat, and what looks like some kind of miniaturized, nuclear-equipped, walking death-mobile. Fortunately, it seems these two are quite experienced in dealing with these "Snatchers." (One-shot)


**AN:** To those of you who instantly know what game this is a crossover with (without looking it up online): You have my respect.

* * *

If one were to look deep into the dark and spooky woods of Subcon Forest, they would see many strange occurrences. However, as we only have time for one of these, let us focus our attention on a pivotal moment for the one known only as "Hat Kid," who was currently in the process of fighting a literal battle for her very soul.

This battle was being waged between her and the Snatcher, a creature who looked to be made entirely of constantly shifting shadow with a deep purple color. This shadow lacked any feet or even legs for that matter, instead seemingly emerging from the ground. However, it did have arms and, above that, a ruffle where his neck would be. But by far his most distinguishing feature was his glowing orange face which would not look out of place on a jack-o-lantern, with its large eyes and even larger mouth.

On the other side of the fight, we have the pale-skinned Hat Kid, who the Snatcher had tricked (read: forced under penalty of death) into signing away her soul and becoming his "new towel boy." She was currently wearing a purple shirt (with a _far_ lighter color than that of the Snatcher) which was a bit longer than it needed to be, covering the upper section of her white pants in a manner not dissimilar to a skirt. She also wore brown boots and a yellow cape held in place with a comically oversized zipper. On her head was brown hair with a ponytail around back, and her eyes were blue.

If there was one thing you needed to know about Hat Kid's personality, it was that not only was she quite energetic, but also equally determined (wait, that's two things… oh well). Unfortunately for her, determination isn't the only deciding factor in battle.

" _ **HA HA HA HA… FOOOOOOLL!**_ _ **"**_ The Snatcher screamed as it clutched the now helpless girl in its massive right hand. The girl struggled against the larger fingers and tried to pry them open, but to no avail. _**"**_ _ **Did you honestly think you could stand a chance against ME!?"**_

Hat Kid looked down at the stone floor of the circular arena and saw her trusty umbrella right beneath her feet. If only there was some way to get it… or even her top hat which now sat upon the living shadow's head after being plucked from hers.

Snatcher stopped yelling and spoke in a normal (for him) voice. _**"Now look kid, I get it, you're not exactly eager to die… but that's no excuse for breaking a contract. Actually, come to think of it you should probably be glad I'm going to do this quickly, as opposed to taking you to court over this. Seriously, you'd probably die from old age before the case was actually resolved, beca-"**_

 ***BLAM!***

Suddenly, a yellow blast flew from seemingly nowhere and hit the Snatcher's wrist. The force of the impact was such that it sent Hat Kid flying from his grasp.

" _ **What the..."**_ Snatcher examined his wrist before turning to where the shot came from. _**"**_ _ **Who dares…**_ _ **"**_ The spirit trailed off as he saw the new arrivals. _**"Oh, for- another one!?"**_ The living shadow let out a sigh. _**"Haven't I already dealt with enough of you Scrappers?"**_

Hat Kid got up from the ground and saw a man standing there with a gun of some kind in his right hand.

"That's ' _JUNKER,'_ " the man said irritably, adjusting his aim to smack dab between Snatcher's eyes. His hair was brown and combed back, and he wore a white shirt, blue tie, red pants, and a brown trench coat that went down to his lower legs. The gun in his hand was quite large - easily over a foot long in fact - and mostly grey, aside from a bit of silver around the top, and the brown handle. But what really drew attention was the small robot at his side.

Standing up on its digitigrade legs, the blue robot barely stood above the man's knee, not counting its thin but extendable neck. Attached to the neck was a triangular head with a camera lens in each corner, the topmost one being red with the others being blue. Additionally, two small antennae were attached to the left side. On the front of its bulbous body was a large panel that looked like it could open up, and a smaller circular hatch was located on the left side. In contrast, a massive box with a grey shutter on top was mounted on the right, which alone looked almost like it contained half of the robot's entire mass. Over all, the best way Hat Kid could describe it was looking like some kind of… iron cog.

" _ **Look…"**_ Snatcher began. " _ **I don't know what you think is going to happen here, but as I explained to the girl here..."**_ he tilted his head behind him, where Hat Kid was picking up her umbrella. _**"**_ _ **I can't turn blue! I'm invincible!**_ _ **"**_

The man looked at the Snatcher in what could only be described as straight-up confusion. He then looked down at his robot companion who, incidentally, _was_ blue. The robot shifted the box on its side in a way that vaguely resembled a shrug, and the man turned back to the shadow.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said condescendingly, "but you are aware that this," he nodded at the gun in his hand, "was designed _specifically_ to take down Snatchers, right?"

That gave the Snatcher pause. _**"Wait, what?"**_

The small robot spoke up in an electronic voice for the first time. _"Gillian, just shoot him."_

Snatcher panicked and began speaking very fast. _**"No, wait, we-can-talk-abou-"**_

 ***BLAM!***

Another yellow bolt lept out of Gillian's gun and hit right in the middle of Snatcher's face force of the blast flung the shadow to the ground, and something was flung from its body upon impact with the ground.

For a moment, all was still. Not even Hat Kid made a move. Then Gillian slowly approached the corpse (can shadows even have corpses?) with his gun still at the ready. He reached the head and knelt in front of it.

" _Huh_ " Gillian muttered, and gingerly prodded the lifeless husk with his weapon. " _Normally their faces explode when I do that…_ " he finished before standing up and shoving his gun back into his coat. "Oh well." Turning to the small child, he asked "You alright, kid?"

Hat Kid was still in shock from the ease with which the man had dispatched the Snatcher, and it took her a moment to realize she had been asked a question. She then nodded furiously.

"Okay, good." Gillian took a few steps forward but stopped when his toe hit the object that the Snatcher had dropped upon defeat. He leaned down and picked it up, seeing that it appeared to be some kind hourglass.

After examining it it from all angles, he frowned and turned to his bot. "Any idea what this is for?" he asked.

The robot pointed its triangular head at the object, the lenses on its cameras rotating as they focused on the hourglass. _"Unknown,"_ it said after a moment. _"But my scanners are detecting very high energy levels of some kind. I recommend taking it back to JUNKER HQ for further analysis."_

"Right." Gillian turned back to the girl, who had picked up her umbrella and was leaning over the now ex-Snatcher. "Hey kid?" Hat Kid turned around and finished adjusting her top hat.

"Do you mind waiting here for the Junk Squad to take your statement? I have urgent business I need to take care of."

Hat kid shrugged.

"I'll take that as a yes then." Gillian looked down at the robot. "Come on, Metal." The pair turned around and started to make their way towards a sleek blue car of some kind, judging by the tires it rested on.

"Wait!" a high-pitched voice cried out behind them. They turned back and saw Hat Kid with an angry expression on her face. She raised her hand and pointed at the hourglass in Gillian's left hand.

Gillian held the object up. "What, this?" Hat Kid nodded. "Sorry, but I have to take this with me, it _is_ evidence."

Hat Kid shifted her umbrella on her shoulder, but Gillian thought nothing of it and continued. "But I could file a request if you want, and we'll give it back as soon as-"

 ***POW, BLAM, CRASH, SMACK***

Gillian crashed to the ground, with several lumps on his head and an aching back from what was quite possibly the largest display of physical parasol violence that he's ever had the displeasure to witness. He let out a soft moan as his hand went limp and the hourglass it once held floated up into the air… somehow.

Hat Kid then proceeded to grab the hovering object and commenced some strange dance which involved spinning in a full circle before lifting the hourglass skywards. After holding that pose for a few seconds, she tucked the device under her arms and ran away as fast as her little legs could take her.

The small robot's mouth hung open as it watched her dash away… or it would have, had it actually _had_ a mouth to open. A groan brought its attention back down to earth.

"Metal?" Gillian asked from the ground.

" _Yes, Gillian?"_

"Did I just get beat up by a little girl with an umbrella?"

" _Yes; yes you did."_

"... I don't suppose there's any chance you _weren't_ broadcasting that to HQ?"

" _No, there isn't."_

" _..._ _ ***sigh***_... I'm never going to live this one down, am I?"

" _Probably not; I also sent a copy of the video to your wife."_

Gillian rotated his head to look at the robot. "...Of _course_ you did," he said as he pulled himself to his feet.

Gillian then limped over to his transport craft. This particular vehicle was a bit strange-looking, with two wheels in the front, a single large one in back, an exposed and rear-mounted engine, red sirens on top, and a windshield that wrapped all the way up to the roof.

The gull-wing door of the blue car opened automatically, allowing access. The robot hopped in first and moved over to the passenger side. Gillian then sat down in the driver's seat. And pressed a few buttons on the massive control panel. Multiple displays and status indicators lit up in front of him and a high-pitched whirring sound came from the engine.

But before anything else could happen, Gillian spared a moment to look back to where he came from. "What an odd place…" he mused before the door closed and the sound of the engine grew in volume.

 **[Closing song;** _ **One Night in Neo Kobe City**_ **]**

A large amount of steam came out from the bottom of the car, which began to float around three feet above the ground. The three wheels retracted inwards and the vehicle just hovered there for a few seconds before shooting upwards like a rocket, leaving the strange forest behind, hopefully for good.

* * *

In case the closing song didn't give it away, this was a crossover with the video game _Snatcher_ (if you haven't played it, think _Blade Runner_ but with Terminators) _,_ a criminally unappreciated cult classic that definitely deserves a re-release.

I was going to put this out on Halloween, but then I wanted to write an action scene, then I decided to scrap it and make a shorter action scene, then I forgot about it for a few days, then I just said screw it, and posted what was already finished.


End file.
